Mind Reading for Lent Anyone?

Lent. While I am certainly not catholic I have come to look forward to the practice of lent. The idea of going without certain indulgences for 40 days has an appeal to me. Mostly, because it is not FOREVER. You can make a commitment to give up anything, say pizza, for a kind of trial period. Perhaps, at the end you will find yourself gorging an entire pizza. But, perhaps you will find there really is no need for pizza in your life at all (and just for the record this would be highly unlikely in my own life - there are times when only a pizza will do). 

So, as I have been sitting back and watching friends give up various worldly goods and habits for lent, I have been thinking about what I might live without for 40 days and 40 nights. Surprisingly, my list was very, very long, and as such I will not bore you with the details. But, I would like to share the habit that won out over all the rest. Mind reading.

Just to be clear for those of you who might be freaking out, I have no magical powers. I only think I do. While I am certainly a perceptive and even intuitive person with a psychology degree - I am wrong more than I am right when getting into the business of other people's minds. A slight gesture or off remark can send me on a tangent of fret for days. When the truth is the person whose mind I have read (usually my husband's) is just having a bad day. By the time I work up the courage to address the issue I have created with the "mind readee", they have no idea what I am talking about. And I have spent all of that time shooting cortisol into my bloodstream for absolutely no reason.

It is a habit, an indulgence, that I can simply no longer afford in my life. I have enough real stress to stop making it up. I recently read this quote somewhere (sorry I can't remember where), "It is none of your business what other people think of you." My immediate and visceral reaction was, "Like hell it isn't!" But as I had time to contemplate the author's meaning behind the statement, I  grew to agree. People either like you or they don't - and it is completely up to them. Being inauthentic for the affections of those who you don't even like is completely ridiculous.

As a recovering perfectionist and people pleaser this has been a huge revelation. Reading minds in the hopes that everyone on earth will like me is something I am hardly aware of, so it will be hard work to stop. I have not taken this decision lightly. In fact, just last night I had a nightmare about it. I was out in the world with very hairy (I'm talking MAN hairy) legs - my legs were completely, 100% EXPOSED to all who passed by and I was mortified. I searched for something to cover them, but my efforts were fruitless. What is interesting to me about the dream is that nobody seemed to notice me or my legs. How's that for symbolism?

I believe lent is the perfect time to let go of such complaisant nonsense. As Kesha sings so eloquently in her latest hit, "We are who we are." And isn't it about time for us to expose the most precious and naked parts of our souls to the world. I have never  met one truly authentic person I did not like, or at least admire. So here's to letting it all hang out this lent - a chance to give your true self a test drive. Who knows, maybe you'll like you and leave the voodoo of mind reading in the dust where it belongs.